RADIO STORIES (PART TWO)

STORY # 2-COMMUNITY BULLETIN BOARD


This one happened in 1977 at CJSL Radio in Estevan Saskatchewan.  We used to have a segment following our Noon Hour News that featured community announcements submitted by local organizations to promote their events.  One of my tasks was to take the submissions and put them into script form so that they could be read on-air.


SO...


One day an announcer who everyone considers to be a major A-hole is on-air reading the community announcements.  As I'm listening to him , a lovely old grey-haired lady steps into my office and hands me a neatly-typed blurb about an upcoming social her ladies group is holding.  I thank the kind lady and she leaves.  I'm about to take the announcement into Mr. A-hole when a scathingly brilliant idea pops into my head.  Suddenly I see clearly how I can punish this jerk for being such a huge pain-in-the-butt.


I insert the announcement into my trusty Olivetti Typewriter (this is the 70's, remember...no computers) and hastily make a small addition to it.  I hurry over to studio "A" and hand Mr.-You-Know-What the doctored
script.


Upon returning to my office, I crank up the on-air moniter just in time to hear:


There will be an afternoon tea sponsored by the Estevan Ladies Auxilliary on Tuesday June 20th at 1:00 P.M.  Tickets are $3.00 and are available from any member.  Everyone is welcome to attend (and here's where I added)  EXCEPT TRANSVESTITES.


It was beautiful.  Mr. A-hole really enunciated the "except transvestites" part.


The next sound I hear is idiot-boy powering his way down the hallway shouting loudly.  I can't make out exactly what he's screaming, but I am able to pick out my name and and a 13 letter term that denotes someone who copulates with their mother.  In seconds he burst through my office door, punches me in the shoulder and storms out again


EPILOGUE:


 I nurse a bruised shoulder for the next week or so all the time bearing the smug grin of a man who has exacted divine retribution on behalf of all mankind.


 Mr.  A-hole quits is job and beats a hasty retreat back to rock he crawled out from under.


For the remainder of my brief tenure with this radio station I am considered by my announcer buddies to be tantamount to a God.